Sly is busted

After doing some research, I've found out just who Sly Nade really is.

First and most importantly, Sly is not her real first name. Now under normal circumstances I wouldn't be able to find her real name, but she was careless enough to use her real last name. Her real name is Ashley Nade.

Second, Ashley has done business with Techrah in the past. She used the name "Penelope", but wouldn't you know it, she also used her real last name with us, too. Surveillance footage from eight months ago shows that she was in Russia, and that she purchased a laptop from us at that time.

Now you may be thinking, "What's the significance of a laptop?" Well, after tracking down its serial number and hacking into her computer, I discovered that she has saved over two dozen classified FBI files, all of them about criminals in the Las Vegas area.

My theory is that she's the leader of a very secretive criminal organization based in Las Vegas, and that she's wanting to take control of the city.

Now, what is she doing here? She'd like to practice being the ruler of a seized city, so to practice that she wants to take this forum over and rule all of you.

Band together with me to take her out. Ashley's reign of terror will be extinguished before it begins!

No, you are never on our side, something is up.

And you know, picking on girls means you like them. Though I would've thought you'd've learned that that technique does not work at all in middle school like most men.

Tsk, what am I to tell Jewel.

Just no.

Can you specifically show me how you figured out her name? Without a source or evidence, your claim is invalid.

Um, why would she fly all the way to Russia to buy a laptop, then fly all the way back to Las Vegas? There are plenty of computer stores in Las Vegas; why wouldn't she go to one of those instead?

Really? Computer hacking? Can you prove that you hacked into her computer? At all?

Seriously, your "theory" has a lot of holes in it. Learn how to write fictional stories, dude.

@Bee-Chan: XD Bring her in, I want to know what she has to say about Harry's little "crush".

Are you insane, dude? Do I need to arrange transportation to an insane asylum for you?

This couldn't be farther from the truth.

I wasn't going to do it, but I'll clarify exactly who I am for everyone.

Everyone, Harry has gone off the deep end, but he was right about my first name not being Sly.

My first name isn't Ashley or Penelope either, it's actually Lindsey. And yeah, Nade is my last name, too.

I just thought Sly looked like a cooler name. *shrug*

I have a clean police record. Never had any run ins with cops. I do my best to abide by the laws of the country, my state, and my city. I would never associate with criminals.

Harry, it looks like you're just trying to make yourself look like the hero, so that you can "control" this forum.

Reality check: that's never going to happen.

So stop trying, man. You're never going to succeed.

I will never stop trying, you liar.

Goodbye, Ashley.